It is almost heartening, though not helpful in my current need of finding a job, to see that as nerdy and annoying and persnickety as the profession is, there are really some interesting choices that were there to be made early on that could take one so far afield from the initial semester of Torts, Real Property, Criminal Law, Civil Procedure, and… hmm; oh, yes, Contracts.

With a great education and a mind wide open to many interests, it is still that “first job” out of law school that bends the twig that grows into the tree that becomes your career. My initial impetus for considering law school — family law because of the royal rape I got through divorcing an active duty military member stationed overseas — fell aside as I learned more of the devastating emotions and 24-hour-”on” that was involved. Realized I just could not do that without being torn apart emotionally on a too constant basis.

Likewise, the possibility of litigation rarely intrigued me. My early avoidance of considering law school was fueled primarily by my terror of having to stand up in front of people and be articulate, quick-footed, and on point. Perry Mason’s mastery of the court room amplified what I am NOT on a personal/personality basis. Even though I spent several years while in law school clerking  in state court, and learned a lot by what I could watch, even though I actually showed flashes of a possible gift for litigation, at the end of the day I didn’t want to be angry all the time, driven to win all the time (necessary trait!), starting over again and again with each successive case. Plus having prisoners hollering my name out of the jail windows as I walked up to the courthouse made me seriously consider whether I wanted to expose young Chick to a criminal element in any way — and I didn’t.

Not  having a science background, no engineering, no MD, no IT, or the like, well that seriously slices out a huge number of the jobs being posted — all particular fields of endeavor that when sandwiched with a law degree and copious experience in the related field apparently lead one to spend the daylight (and probably a few of the nightlight) hours pounding away in these directions.

High finance and securities are in high demand (though one might think there would be a surplus of applicants in these fields), and I squint my eyes over these job descriptions and ask a quiet internal question as to whether I wish I had stayed longer in the investment department at my first post-graduation position and forced myself to get more into more of the securities aspects, if I had been able to keep active those hard-won (though still with ignorance) securities licenses I had been crammed and tested for and achieved. I really don’t have to squint for too long — no, I would not have liked to go in these directions.

Why not international law, so I could pursue the couple of UN jobs listed? Why not a background in saving the world? Some of those slots sound so interesting and exotic and full of world travel — but actually I feel a bit less adventurous than in my earlier years and in these times, I’m not sure I could be as blase or naive or just innocent as was possible 40 (!!!) years ago when I graduated high school and smacked my lips over what I would set out and accomplish with my life. Hasn’t gone according to plan (not that there really was one).

And who knew that “health care” law would be a hopping market? Not I. And I’m okay with that.

I really think I ended up in the field I needed to be in, and I’ve enjoyed it (from a bird’s eye view) the past 23 years. Some of the fields I wish I had been able to wander into would be things like entertainment law and maybe DOD-related areas. Maybe, maybe not. Maybe a Bar membership somewhere more central to “where the jobs are” now would have been a good choice.

It doesn’t matter, I “yam what I yam ’cause it’s all that I yam,” as Popeye was wont to say. There’s a job out there with my name on it, and it and I just must find each other. It may not exist at this very moment or be open or available yet, but Something To Do will wave at me and I’ll wave back and somehow this will come to be. If I just knew WHEN, I could relax and just embrace the now without hyperventilating.

Looking forward to looking back on all this.

{oh, and don’t forget all the interesting languages I could have chosen to learn… but didn’t… that could have opened many doors; but people laughed at me long ago when I mused over “Chinese” or “Arabic” or… CuddaWuddaShudda!}

I have been learning a lot as I’ve entered into the ‘early frantic days’ of job searching. As I’ve gone from jobsite to jobsite and searched and searched and looked at “what’s out there”, I have learned a lot about the millions of missing skills and specialties that I have failed to master over the years of working so very hard at my ‘craft’.

For instance, I have NO expertise in any of the Federal statutes or regulations. This apparently greatly minimizes my chances for obtaining a job with any federal agency, and especially at the income level we need and which one would expect would be obtainable after 23 years of dedicated experience. I keep thinking, there has to be a way to crack that nut. I haven’t figured it out yet but that will give me something to work on in the days ahead when all of the ‘jobs’ on the jobsites have been reviewed over and over and nothing new is there to poke. Several years ago I actually paid some folks to rework my resume into a form that supposedly is specific to applying for federal jobs. Somehow in the blowing up of my last PC and the changeover to the mac I lost that. I’m not sure it was the golden bullet, though I may tell myself that as ‘a’ reason for lack of success in this area. Ha!

I also am not a litigator, a bankruptcy person, nor trademarks, copyrights, patents. I am not a ‘highly skilled with [decades] years’ experience in’ various complex financing, IT, software, related technological industries.

Nor do the  languages of Arabic, Dutch, Tagalog, Russian, and the like trip off my tongue or compute within my head.

I am not a member of a European bar association.

ETC.

And here I thought I had been doing pretty well for an old gal! Fortunately at this point my sense of humor is still intact and I can only chuckle and smack my palm to forehead with the vision of my misspent years not accumulating these skills and abilities. Oy!

On the other hand, now with my resume posted on a few of the jobsites I am getting solicitation emails from various folks who use their most flattering canned letters to tell me how impressive and wonderful I am and how well they think I would do if I would consider selling insurance or spending the last bits of my money buying a franchise that would be just right for me. Oy!

I will soon visit the jobsites enough that I will have applied to all the “possibles” that I could imagine stretching myself into (even though the recipients of my applications may not have the same vision) and the time needed to keep up with new possibilities will greatly drop.

When that happens I need to begin budgeting time to other necessary ‘steps’ such as going through the contents of home and finally sorting all the THINGS out into the throwaway/ giveaway/ sell/ keep piles.  This will start to greatly reduce the amount of STUFF that will need to be packed and moved come the day. The throwaway things are mostly going to be tons o’ paper that the finally-pitching exercise will greatly lighten the burden. The donate (givewaway) will hopefully help others and provide some tax help NEXT year, the sell items can contribute to the pot, and the keep items will thus become even more meaningful.

In the very near future I need to plan a day to furrow my brow, get a headache, fret, panic, etc — and prepare the 2008 tax returns for the 3 of us. May I throw in another Oy! here. At least THIS year (for 2008) I shouldn’t have the horrible hit I did last  year when I had to take money out of my 401(k) to pay down some debt.

Oh, yes. Debt. I can’t look at that right now; and that will need a look and a phone call to Sue. Another day. Soon.

Today is the day I wrote myself a note to spend delving into federal jobs, maybe reading some federal statutes and regulations that are mentioned as ‘expertise needed in’ requirements for those jobs. And maybe I’ll write my president and let him know I’ve become one of the numbers he’s been citing in his urging of Congress to pass HELP. Wonder if the help will help me?

We’ll see. There’s so much to learn and look forward to, eh?

Day 4, Sunday night, 2/8, 2009.

On Day 2 I,

== filed for unemployment with the state. Thankfully this could be done online as long as the appropriate information was at hand. Must mail in follow up letter about taking out withholding from the direct deposit. First week will not be covered – not sure when it will start or how much or much of anything about it. This is the first time I’ve ever had the necessity of filing for employment. I also do not know how long it will last, or if the Company will deny it. I just know that M ran down the stairs after Doll and me and told us to file immediately and to ‘take the Company for all we can get’. I am not vindictive about this. I just must try to get help for the uncertain future.

== updated resume.

== ‘built’ a resume on the federal jobs site.

== sent email to RP to let him know what happened and to start a first inquiry for help. He connected me to the Company 3 years ago. Hopefully he can at some point help me find safe harbor. He also brought Supergirl to the Company, who had ability to take on  my function in addition to her own designated one. Sis predicted it. Call RP Monday in response to his request that I do so

== sent email to ELB to advise, and in follow up asked for any leads he came across.

== began initial reviewing of job websites, including federal jobs site, feeling the frustration that I have wasted a couple of decades not learning and practicing about any of the federal code sections.

== spent a few moments wishing I had marketable skills in other fields.

SO, for Monday, the minimum of the following needs to be addressed:

1. Shower and dress.
2. Call RP, hope for the improbable (that there is something already waiting for me)
3. Call Sue, and advise her of the situation and see what is going to be affected when in the settlement(s).
4. Pay Snowy’s doctor bills.
5. Pay a large portion of the Heritage Chapel estimate and send it express, requesting a faxed and mailed receipt.
6. Make copy of Snowy’s DAR policy (probably send copy to Heritage, too) and send to Dyna.
7. Begin a more disciplined review of jobsites and begin a log. Apply for anything ‘possible’.
8. Contact Smart Life and find out the cost and the process.